You know when you have put on weight, your pants don’t fit, you feel bloated, and you hate looking at yourself in pictures? That was me back in January. I knew I had put weight on, but to be fair, it was an insanely stressful time. We had just decided to close my successful pet styling spaw, sell our house, remodel a tour bus, move our 3 kids and 6 dogs in, and then travel the country…. My plate was slightly full.
We were trying to get the bus renovation finished so we could move in. We also thought it would be a great time to pull the kids from school and do virtual school. I knew that I didn’t have the time to exercise at the moment and I wasn’t about to give up my nightly wine. I decided to do something different, that I had never done before. I accepted myself for who I was in this particular time in my life. Simple, yet a super crazy idea.
Raise your hand if you’ve picked yourself apart in pictures or videos? Tummy is too big, hips are too wide, arms are too flabby, and that dreadful double chin is showing. Even Karen’s hand should be up in the back. No matter what size we are, we seem to always beat ourselves up about it. With me, I make makeup tutorial videos. I HAVE to look at myself a lot more than the average person. I got to the point where I was scrutinizing every little thing about my face. I was disgusted to look at myself.
One day, something hit me like a ton of bricks. I saw myself in a video, and I had a smile on my face in one particular frame. I was happy, like genuinely happy. I finally saw beauty in my face. I didn’t see all the “imperfections” that I saw before. I promised myself that I wouldn’t say negative things about myself in my head. Instead, I would tell myself that I am beautiful and perfectly imperfect. I would conduct this “experiment” for a month or two and see if being positive changed my mindset about my current body image.
Over the past couple months I would see myself in a video and just see the beauty that was there. If a negative thought came into my head, I would let it float by, replacing it with something positive about myself. After a few times of thinking something positive, it kind of started to be automatic. There was a video in particular, for Red, White, & Bethune that Kyle and I were editing. He had made the comment about himself “Man, I have put on some weight.” Normally, in that moment I would have looked at myself and said something similar. But I didn’t. I replied with “I think you look so handsome when you smile. Plus, I look gorgeous! I was having a sweet hair day!” That changed the entire trajectory of our editing session. I radiated positivity in that moment and it put a smile on Kyle’s face.
Being beautiful is a mindset. You get to choose what YOU find beautiful. You don’t have to think that ONLY a size 2, full face of makeup, with no flab anywhere, is sexy. You get to find ANYTHING and ANYONE attractive. You get to expand your mind and look deeper to find beautiful. One of the best things to come out of this experiment, aside from my newfound self acceptance, was the beauty that I began to see in others. It was an indescribably freeing thing. I’d look at a picture someone posted to IG or FB and would automatically find them beautiful. I wouldn’t see “flaws” as flaws, I would see a gorgeous smile, rosy cheeks, an adorable outfit, a cute AF pose, and joy radiating from their eyes. All of those put together made whatever size they were, beautiful.
What started out as an experiment to help my personal self confidence ended with my eyes being opened to an entirely new world, noticing the beauty in others. CHOOSE your OWN definition of beauty. Open your heart to the positive and flush out the negative. You will be surprised at the different outlook you’ll not only have on yourself, but on others too.